We're at the quiet part of the night, Christmas night. Everything is done and wrapped, children are asleep and I am soon to follow. Today, not rushing, not swept into the panic of last minute, was good. (I say now that it's quiet and done.)
I've had a pretty shitty last couple of weeks. I've been sick twice (I say twice because it was, with 2 different sets of symptoms), the kids have been sick, husby has a knee thing, we haven't been sleeping well (which always makes for not good), etc etc.
I've been struggling with this blog, the idea of this blog, and censoring myself, and how I look or sound and how that might reflect on my husby. Perhaps a knee jerk reaction to the ship Christmas party (and following Navy parties) where I was entirely conscious of what I said, how I looked, what I did, how I walked in heels and whether or not my legs looked to skinny in that skirt. Stupid...stupid, I know, but what I did and was at that time.
So, I had an interesting and most honest conversation with my brother's girlfriend last night at my mom's Christmas party...that, despite being 2 totally different people from perhaps even opposing social norms, we similarily were both living partial truths that involved censoring our authentic selves for the sake of appearance. It's funny to be faced with that. I like to think that I am, for the most part, pretty open and honest and free, but, you know when you talk to someone who is both easy to talk with and kind of a kindred spirit, and you get rambling and all of a sudden your revealing all this new information about yourself that you either forgot and just remembered or never knew needed to be said until just now then, huh. Well, that was that conversation last night.
Anyways, I'm grateful for that. Thanks Isha.
I hope my 3 blog readers have a great Christmas. I'm looking forward to that first moment in the morning...then my coffee.
Peace.
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